7 Things You Need To Know About Dating A Baby Mama
I am here to report some shocking
news: dating a baby mama is not that different than dating your average single
woman.
Thereās one big difference, sure:
sheās got kids.
The truth of the matter is that no matter how many children call
her āMom,ā no baby mama out there should ever be stuck on a shelf because she
made a decision to bring life into this world.
Related: 30 Bad Relationship Habits You *Desperately* Need To Lose By Age 30
Related: 30 Bad Relationship Habits You *Desperately* Need To Lose By Age 30
Some
men make crazy assumptions about dating a woman with kids. They assume sheās
desperate for a daddy for her children. They think sheās trying to drain their
financial resources.
The
truth couldnāt be more different.
So
letās bust some tired-a*s stereotypes and share 7 things people need to know
about dating a baby mama:
1. She still wants to be desired.
via GIPHY
via GIPHY
Thereās
this crazy thing that happens to women who have children: men (and, frankly,
the world at large) stop viewing them as s*xual beings worthy of adoration.
This is
crazy. Just because a woman has a kid (or two, or three, or four) thatās
doesnāt make her any less sexy. Culturally, we want these women to stay in the
kitchen, bemoaning their fates and making apple pies whose crusts are salted
with their tears.
A woman
doesnāt magically become undesirable because it once gestated a new life. Sheās
no less sexy and no less worthy of love, affection, and s*x with whoever she
damn well chooses whenever she chooses to have it.
2. She
has zero tolerance for BS.
It can
be tempting when you start dating to cut your new beau some major slack when
they toy with your affections.
A
single mom has zero time or tolerance for your bullshit, and power to her for
it.
If you
want to play games, if you want to string her along, if you donāt know what you
want, thatās fine ā just donāt expect her to wait around for you to grow up.
Sheās got enough of that going on at home.
A
grown-a*s woman deserves a grown-a*s man, and thatās what sheās holding out
for.
3. She
will put you on her list, but you arenāt number one.
When
youāre a woman, prioritizing is basically all you do. You prioritize your job,
your prioritize your kids, your prioritize getting your bills paid and buying
groceries, and any one of the other eight million things that need to get done
on a daily basis.
For a
baby mama, itās hard enough for her to remember that sometimes she has to put
herself first, so donāt get it twisted and expect her to put your needs first.
She
will love you and support and be there for you and give you the best oral s*x
of your life, but the minute you start saying shit like, āItās me or him,ā and
the āhimā is her 18-month-old? Thatās the minute your a*s is formally
introduced to its new best friend, Mr. Curb.
4. She
can forget to make time for herself.
Sometimes
she will forget to text you back.
Sometimes
she will cancel a date at the last minute.
Sometimes
she will forget to cook dinner and youāll wind up eating takeout.
She
isnāt neglecting you intentionally: she is neglecting herself, failing to see
and address her own needs ā which include love and time spent with a romantic
partner.
It can
hurt to feel neglected, but when you realize that the root of this behavior
isnāt disinterest but itās her running herself ragged, take the opportunity to
step up your game.
Cook
HER dinner or take the kids to the park so she can take a bath.
Itās
this sort of stuff that makes a real impression. Youāre not just in it for you,
youāre in it for her.
5. She
can be cagey about commitment.
Look. A
woman with a kid (or more than one) has made a series of choices in her life
that have brought her great joy, but theyāve also been choices she has had to
commit to for life.
If she
is gun-shy about committing to you, it isnāt you: itās the fear of making
another major decision. Because this time it isnāt going to just effect her,
itās going to effect her kids, too.
Frankly,
if a baby mama is taking it slow, you should be stoked! It means sheās serious
about you, and sheās serious about bringing you into her world.
6.
Sheās creative as heck when it comes to s*x.
Worried
that dating a baby mama is going to mean your s*x life will become hurried,
quiet missionary after the kids go to bed?
Worry
not!
Single
moms know how to have awesome, hot, exciting s*x. They have a certain set of
skills that they have picked up to learn how to get your freak on without
traumatizing the youngsters for life, and she canāt wait to share that
knowledge with you.
7. She
doesnāt need you, but she wants you.
When youāre
desperately in love you probably find yourself saying stuff like āI need you.ā
Donāt
expect a baby mama youāre dating to pour sweet nothings like this one into your
ear.
She
doesnāt need you. Sheās an adult. Sheās a parent. The things she needs she gets
for herself.
But the
fact of the matter is, she CHOSE you because she WANTED you and thatās so much
better.
So
donāt think that dating a single mom is an open and shut case. Give the
relationship a chance if youāre into her, and maybe youāll discover important
things you were searching for in a relationship at the same time!
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These are very helpful points. It will be good to keep them in mind.
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With kids, there only is one thing. Kids come first.
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